


a prisoner indeed.

by dollvevo



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Crystal Gems, F/F, Implied Jasper/Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Power Imbalance, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, or at least the beginnings of it, stockhelm home syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 10:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18798115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollvevo/pseuds/dollvevo
Summary: How Jasper felt while forming Malachite.





	a prisoner indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> this started out as a little reply to an ask i got idk how this happened but enjoy !

_yes_ _yes_ _yes_ _!_  triumph flooded through jasper as lapis extended her hand outwards towards her and with full enthusiasm she took hold. she knows she’s desperate, desperate enough to fuse; to break not only her own moral code but ultimately the law of her land. however, she just tells herself it’s just to get even with them. to be on an even playing field. no ! _no, no, no, no_ .  . . she wants to be stronger .  . . better ! the ultimate quartz ! live up to her own expectations for once ; even if she can’t. perhaps, fusion can do that for her.

 _left foot. right foot._ jasper’s surprised that her movements, while minimal, were fluid. she’s positive lapis hasn’t done this before, how she moves so graceful is beyond the quartz. she’s amazed how they move in sync. they move with purpose. the same desire for revenge radiates and entwines within each other and _she’s_ excited. excited to feel the power that’ll be shared between them, for the crystal gems to get what they deserve. for that fusion to feel regret and fear. for rose quartz to be shattered.  yes ! shattered like her beloved diamond. the thought causes her to ache almost like she has a heart.

 _spin her and dip._ she feels warm and she knows, it causes a grin to spread on her face. to see lapis fall so gracefully against her large forearm, to watch the tender glow of her gem peeking out from behind her. to see her features soft even in the concentration of fusion. soon .  . . soon ! this entire game of cat and mouse that lasted for five thousand years will be over and done with then maybe she can feel peace for once. after it all, perhaps she won’t be consumed with the idea of pink or war. soon, earth and her own incompetence ( though they say she’s far from it ) will finally be feelings in the past.

 _now._ the energy they release is blinding and the heat is scorching. the desperate gasps of the crystal gems is the last thing she hears as jasper and it causes her to laugh. _and laugh and laugh_ , at this point it isn’t even her laughing, it’s _malachite_ . the absolute power flows through them and it’s how wonderful it is  ! she can feel the pain, anger, _need_ , strength, and desire. jasper never realized that fusion requires such vulnerability ; she feels every part of lapis as lapis feels her. they feel excited. then she feels betrayal.

 _no_ ** _!_** _no_ ** _!_** _no_   the chains are tight and they grow tighter are she struggles. she’s confused, demanding for lapis to make sense of it all. if she wanted to protect rose then why would they need to fuse  ? why would she even agree ? _❛  i’m tired of being everyone's prisoner_ ** _!_** _now you’re my prisoner_ ** _!_** _❜_  

 _it makes sense._ it makes sense the more she thinks about it. all the desire, anger, and need was never aimed at their ( thought ) common enemy, nor was it even a trick to play hero. all the animosity was aimed at the quartz herself or maybe the lapis was at her limit and jasper was the easy way out. both theories encouraged the beta to escape ; well make an attempt. it’s clear her partner doesn’t want her to unfuse by the way the grip tightens around her wrists and ankles, bringing her to her knees with a gasp. then everything is blue and fuzzy soon followed by darkness.

 _too much._ she registers that there’s water and that it’s rising, and rising fast. alarmingly fast. soon jasper finds it up to her neck and she’s nervous, at least she thinks she’s nervous. it’s been a while since something has evoked such a feeling and she has to think about it. she’s not scared, not just yet. so, she’s feels like nervous is an accurate description for now. her mind is racing but for every solution she tries there was always something, or more accurately, _someone_ in her way. it’s clear that lapis is no fool. she comes to the conclusion that lapis is much stronger than she previously thought. her conclusion earns a chuckle from lapis and jasper suddenly remembers that they are one.

 _uncertainty._ lapis is in front of her and the nervousness intensifies, almost into fear. she’s not sure what’s going to happen now that she’s too exhausted to continue putting up a fight, for now. she stares up at the gem and she realizes that the water isn’t that high; it comes up to lapis’ waist. jasper scowls as the rage runs through her with thoughts filled with curses, threads, and a many demands, she ends up vocalizing more than half of them. she lunges at lapis, with new found energy, who doesn’t even move a muscle. instead she simply watches the chains hold jasper back; thus, sending the quartz into the water. jasper doesn’t need air but she feels like she’s choking which is why she gasps for air when she manages to bring herself back up to her knees, head above water once more. this happens a few more times before jasper tires herself out once more and just watches the lazuli from her forced position. moments pass before lapis finally moves in jaspers direction, slowly making her way to stand directly in front of the fallen warrior. jasper is sure she has her fears and concerns written on her face this time. jasper finds her lips moving and she whispers, once more, _❛_ _let me go._ _❜_ however, her words are less of a demand and more of a plea by now. a soft  _❛  my prisoner. ❜_  is all jasper gets in return.

 _beauty._  the delicate fingers that hold jasper's face causes her to tense.  jasper doesn’t break eye contact not only because of the little pride she has left but she also sees something in the way lapis looks at her. she sees that there’s a touch of fondness in those eyes instead of the hatred that’s expected. jasper’s not sure if lapis is fond of having her or of having someone to rule over. either way it doesn't matter because in that moment jasper sees beauty in her tormentor and admires her strength. she loves it. she loves malachite and the absolute power that lapis gives her. she's sure she'll attempt to leave again soon, however, for now she looks at lapis with the same fondness she's given. she's truly a prisoner indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this sexy piece of art: https://captain-of-the-lesbian-ships.tumblr.com/post/124021661913/you-are-my-prisoner-permission-to-post-given-by


End file.
